If I were a hockey player meme

Found an interesting little feature on several Hockey blogs out there. If I were a hockey player who would I be? No if I was a particular player, but if I were the actual player what would I be like?

So...

If I Were a Hockey Player:

Team: Toronto Maple Leafs
Uniform Number: 29
Position: Goaltender
Nickname: "Crooks"
Dream Linemates: Darryl Sittler, Borje Salming
Rounding out the PP: Borje Salming and Tiger Williams.
Job: Keep the puck out of the net and players out of the crease.
Signature Move: Combination of a glove save on one side and an ankle chop on the other.
Strengths: Positional play
Weaknessess: Taking too many slashing penalties
Injury Problems: Both knees
Equipment: Thief mask with prison striped cage and goal stick.
Nemesis: Dave "The Hammer" Shultz and the rest of the Flyers
Scandal Involvement: Caught cavorting naked with 5 Toronto Argonaut Cheerleaders in the fountain out front of Ryerson.

Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Philadelphia Flyers winning in 4 after knocking Shultz out for the season with an ankle injury.

What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Baptize my child in it.

Would the media love me or hate me: They'd love me because I always give them something to talk about